Many men living with HIV have faced rejection upon disclosing to potential sexual partner/s. Sometimes men say no when asked or approached for sex, a date, or a relationship. Other HIV positive men, however, particularly in longer term relationships, have received lots of support.
If you choose to disclose and he decides not to have sex with you, it’s worth remembering that his decision to say no may not always be about you personally. He may have little or no understanding of how HIV is or is not transmitted and he may simply be trying to lower his own risk of getting HIV. It is his choice to make. Timing can be important also. It can be difficult to talk about HIV when you have only just met someone, but sometimes a casual relationship may develop into a more long-term one and this could cause problems if you have not disclosed.
Before making a decision about disclosure, many men feel that they want to get to know a person better and develop a friendship, trust and confidence, where privacy will be respected.
Some men find it useful to bring up casual conversations about HIV when they first meet someone.
There are no simple answers, as with many aspects of living with HIV. Talking to other HIV positive people, a support worker, or a counsellor about your concerns may be helpful.
Currently, in Ireland, an obligation to disclose your HIV status, has not been established in a court of law.